Easy Target

Melanie "Gullible" Sloan. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I think so.

The past couple of weeks, I've had some really odd things happening to my computer at work. The cursor would move by itself - I didn't have my hand anywhere near the mouse. Programs would open and close quickly without me touching the keyboard. Other subtle movements on the screen that left me wondering if I wasn't starting to see things... but they never affected how I did my work, so I never bothered to call MIS (or our help desk) to look into the problem.
Today I was in the middle of a huge project at my desk with several people involved, and I had the MIS guy, three Mailroom runners, and a paralegal nearby working. Suddenly, I glance over at my computer and see that it's going absolutely berserk. Programs are opening and closing faster than I can blink, like a key on the keyboard is being held down or something - but NOTHING is resting on the keyboard causing it, and I'm not anywhere near it. I'm sitting there at a loss... everyone standing around is staring wide-eyed at it, going "What on EARTH is wrong with your computer?" The MIS guy says, "I've never seen anything like that!"
At that point, I started to panic - "Matt, fix it!! Do something! I can't even close the programs!" I was frantically trying to close each program as it opened, but another one would open at the same instant. It was nuts.
I look earnestly at Matt (the MIS guy), and ask him to do something...
At which point an evil smile creeps across his lips and the Mailroom runners and the paralegal all burst into laughter. MIS Matt pulls out a remote control. The spastic programs on my computer stop.
I stare.
"WHAT IS THAT????" I ask MIS Matt.
More laughter.
Mailroom Matt says, "We've been messing with your computer for weeks!"
MIS Matt unhooks something from the back of my computer. "This," he says, holding up a little contraption that resembles a USB port, "is a device that attorneys use when they're doing presentations on their computers. With the remote, it allows them to make their way around the computer without having to actually stand AT the computer."
More laughter. I turn really red and get overheated with embarrassment and a bit of rage. More laughter.
Mailroom Matt says, "Every time one of us has come near your desk, we've had the remote with us so we can mess with your computer and watch you try to figure out what's wrong."
"So all those times my mouse moved on it's own..." More laughter.

Turns out this was a practical joke that they hatched back in February, and executed about three weeks ago. Now that I think about it... I bet it was about the time that I got to work one morning and turned on my computer to hear blaring speakers (they liked to turn my speakers up all the way so everyone in the whole office could hear the Windows jingle play when my computer booted up), but when I turned my speakers off, the noise didn't stop. I discovered later that they actually HID EXTRA SPEAKERS under my desk, and watched as I frantically tried to figure out why my computer was so loud. Yeah, they thought they got me so good that time, and immediately started plans for the next joke... Why didn't they just paint a big target on my forehead and shoot darts at it?

Melanie "Gullible" Sloan. I think I'll put it on my luggage.

Hangin' With Sam

A couple of times a year, I house/dog-sit for some friends, John and Maria Anderson - actually, it's an attorney that I work with and his wife, but I've been house/dog-sitting for them for so long, I consider them friends, and I've been through six dogs with them now, and they have the cutest little girl that goes to Catholic school right by where I live, and now I even have my own key to their house, no lie... WOW, I'm rambling. I think I've been watching too much 'Scrubs' on DVD because I'm starting to sound like Elliot, she rambles like no other.

ANYWAY, Maria gave my number to a friend of hers whose twins go to school with Maria's daughter, and long story short (too late) - I dog-sat Sammy a couple of weekends ago. Meet Sammy:

Sammy is a Miniature Australian Shepherd. He is such a chill dog! I could let him out in the front yard and he'd just wander around the cul-de-sac and do whatever it is he does, then just comes back in the house. He's super cuddly, and hilarious when he gets excited about birds flying around or other dogs in the neighborhood barking - he hops around on all fours! It's great. Anyway, he's a cute dog.

Goodness, speaking of the neighborhood, it was like a dog park! I must have made four other K-9 friends, including Toby the Golden Retriever next door who jumped on me and tried to... well, dominate me. Anyway, I drove up to the house on Saturday after being out running errands, and five kids ran up to my car and asked me my name and why I was there in the White's house. Such a friendly neighborhood! And on Saturday night, while I was outside with Sam, I smelled... mmmm... a bonfire! Turns out some of their neighbors have a fire pit right in the front yard, and it was blazing on Saturday night. Smelled SOOOO good, I loved it!

In all, it was a fun weekend - and when Sam's owners came home, they were so pleased with me being able to stay there, that it looks like I'll be hangin' with Sam again sometime!

The Rundown

Last night, I was channel surfing looking for something decent to watch while I cleaned out the fridge and emptied the dishwasher; when it became apparent that there were no good shows on T.V., I settled for one on FX called The Rundown.


I didn't pay that close of attention to it until the end - I just had it on as background noise, mostly. I've heard of it before, but never seen it - never had the desire. I don't usually go for action movies - with the exception of classics like the Bourne movies and Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, and I've seen maybe one Bond movie. My point is, I don't usually watch this type of show.

And now I think I'm hooked.

Not because of the star of the show - although I've considered seeing whatever movies The Rock" is in, just because he's in them, and he's nice to look at (and let's be honest, I still can't get over the image in my head of him in his WWF days, in little shorts and screaming 'Can you SMMMMEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL what The Rock is cooking?').

It's also not the plot of the movie, which was actually really lame. The Rock plays a character named Beck, who's a bounty hunter, and while he's big and tough and scary to fight, he A) doesn't ever use guns, and B) is a master chef. What the...?? He's the most un-wussy wuss I've ever watched! So obviously there was an element of comedy to it - his side-kick was Sean William Scott, a very funny guy. (Plus it was funny to hear my brother Shawn laugh at it!)
No, the reason I liked it was the choreographed gunfight scenes!! It was like watching Jackie Chan in the Rush Hour films. Totally planned down to the smallest detail, predictable, and EXCITING. I loved it! I dropped whatever I was doing in the kitchen to watch Beck weigh his determination to never use guns with the cries of a friend screaming for help, and haul out of his hiding place with guns blazing and takes the enemy down. It was AWESOME.

Man, my heart's racing just thinking about it!

Really? I mean, REALLY??

So I get an e-mail twice a week from this site - http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html - and they post a lot of funny things, and a few off-color things. But today, I saw this, and I had to laugh - because if you go to the links, they're real websites for legitemate businesses and organizations!!! BAHAHAHAHA!!!


The following are all legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online domain name might appear ... and be misread.
These are not made up. Check them out...

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is: www.whorepresents.com
2 . Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at: www.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at: www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at: www.therapistfinder.com
5. There's the Italian Power Generator company: www.powergenitalia.com
6. And don't forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com .
7. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always: www.ipanywhere.com .
8. The First Cumming Methodist Church Web site is: www.cummingfirst.com .
9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site: www.speedofart.com .


Anyway, just had to share!